Leaving Lauren

We said goodbye yesterday to a wonderful girl who will always be in our hearts. Lauren has given us the most precious gift and we will be forever grateful. She is a true example of selflessness. She had a choice when she got pregnant and she chose to to give Camden life. Brings me to tears when I think of her and all she's done for him and us.

Lauren called our room yesterday morning and said her dad was on his way to pick her up and asked if we'd come down to her room for some pictures. We took some photos together and then it was time for her to say goodbye. I had wondered how this moment would go. Would it be awkward? Would it be highly emotional? It was neither. Lauren said she didn't need to be alone with Camden (she had him for an hour of so the night before by herself) and that she was ready to get going. She held him, kissed his forehead, told him the she loved him very much, and then handed him back to me. She was so strong. She didn't get emotional at all. We gave Lauren a gift certificate to the restaurant where we all went to dinner back in September when we came to Kansas to meet her (she was craving sushi while she was pregnant so we thought we'd treat her to it now that she can have it again), a Spirit of Giving Willow Tree Angel because she definitely has a giving spirit, and a heartfelt card to let her know just how much she means to us. In the card we told her how grateful we are to her and promised her that we would always provide for Camden and always show him unconditional love. We wanted to make sure she had that to keep so she could always go back and look at our promise to her when she thought about him. After that, we all hugged goodbye. She seemed so at ease about everything. I couldn't help tear up for her as we wheeled Camden back down the hall to our room. We are still praying for her and I'm sure we always will. While I was up with Camden in the middle of the night last night I couldn't help but think of her and wonder how her first day/night back at home was. I still have this bittersweetness lingering in my heart over her.

We will send pictures and updates of Camden as he grows to the agency. The agency will keep a file of everything we send and Lauren is able to access it any time she wants to. Lauren told us that she'd like to send Camden a picture of herself with her name, date of birth, and social security number on the back so we can locate her down the road if he wants. She also said she's going to write him a letter and send it to us so that he can have it when he's older. She said she has some things she'd like to say to him.

We were all discharged from the hospital yesterday. It was so freeing. The 4 of us driving away together was so nice. I was giggling over the fact that we now have 2 car seats in the back seat, and they are both occupied! We brought an empty car seat with us to Kansas and it's no longer empty :) We checked into our hotel after leaving the hospital. When we stepped into our room we found a large, beautiful bouquet of flowers from Todd's boss and Steel Tech and also a welcome basket full of baby items from the hotel. Made it feel a little bit like home. We spent yesterday afternoon at the adoption agency signing form after form after form. Our first night at "home" was, well, LONG. Camden slept the entire day yesterday so he spent the entire night not sleeping :) I'm running on about 3 hours of sleep today, but I'm not complaining. I loved getting to know him in the quiet of the night. We had lots of snuggle time :) Camden is a wonderful baby. He's eating like a champ and is content when he's not hungry. Hayden's loving having a baby brother. He still hates to hear Camden cry and comes running whenever he tunes up. We have an appointment with the pediatrician tomorrow morning and will most likely meet with the judge for our interviews on Thursday. We're told we'll probably be here at least a week, maybe two, while all the paperwork for Kansas and Connecticut is completed in order for us to leave the state with Camden. We're missing home and our normal routine but also loving every moment here with our new baby boy.

We are beyond blessed. The prayers, love, and support we have received have touched our hearts. Our life is full of wonderful family and friends. We're thankful for each of you! Your excitement over this process has helped get us here. It gave us strength to keep going when times were tough. It gave us joy when you celebrated with us. Brace yourself, cuteness below...