A Love That Lasts Forever

Life is wonderfully busy these day with our two little boys, but I couldn't wait to find time to sit down and reflect on this past year.  One year ago today we were in Kansas for Camden's birth.  As I look back, I am still in awe over how God led us to our precious son.  That day was filled with so many emotions...excitement, anxiety, elation, nervousness, sadness, love, joy, and thankfulness.  I don't think I've had another day in my life filled with that many emotions.  We were so excited for Camden's birth yet also anxious.  We were over the moon when he was born but still had a hint of nervousness that Lauren would understandably change her mind.  We were instantly filled with love and joy at the site of our son but carried a sadness for a mom who was showing so much love and selflessness for her baby boy.  And, we were beyond thankful to God for guiding us to that moment.  Whew, I'm in tears just replaying the day.  Since our last post (which was almost a year ago!) life has been so sweet.  Camden is a happy little guy with such a fun personality.  He keeps us laughing with his silly faces :)  He's a big boy...75% in weight and 98% in length and head circumference.  He has been a great eater and sleeper all along (except for flare-ups of his allergies/eczema).  He's up to 8 teeth, is crawling all over the place, and is starting to talk.  Currently, his vocabulary consists of uh-oh, dada, bus, go, mama, God, cheese, and there he is.  And, he can tell us what a dog and elephant say :)  Just like his big brother, he already has a love for cars and trucks.  Speaking of Hayden, he's a wonderful big brother, so loving and kind.  Like any parents, we were wondering how he would react to having a sibling.  He has exceeded our hopes by far.  The bond that our boys share is precious, and it was immediate.  Most of Camden's first smiles and laughs were for his brother.  We could try so hard to get a smile or some giggles and all Hayden had to do was look in Camden's direction and he would easily get the reaction we were working for.  It's not unusual to find Hayden wiping Camden's nose, bringing him a toy to distract him from getting into something he shouldn't, or reaching across the backseat of the car just to hold his hand.  I pray their relationship continues to be as sweet as it is today and that they will always have a best friend in each other.

I want to take time to share something that I've realized this past year.  We have two sons and each of them came into our family by God's grace and blessing.  We believe they were both prayed into our lives and we are beyond blessed by the way God answered our many, many prayers.  I've been aware lately of the privilege it was to go through an adoption process.  It has reflected God's love in a way that we might not have experienced had we not had this opportunity.  Camden is our son forever (we already knew that, but the adoption was finalized on May 30 of this past year).  We love him unconditionally and with a love that lasts forever.  In the same way, when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we are immediately adopted into the family of God.  God accepts us just the way we are.  He loves us unconditionally with a love that lasts forever.  We are forever a part of His family and we get the inheritance that offers.  Pretty awesome. 

 "See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!"

1 John 3:1a

 

Today, we are celebrating a little boy who has brought such joy and laughter into our world, a little boy who we thank God for daily.  We can't imagine life without his smile and kisses (which he spontaneously gives and melts our hearts). 

Happy 1st Birthday, Camden James!  We love you, baby boy...more than words can say. 

 

 

Home Sweet Home!

Well, about midnight on Friday night after a 3 hour drive and 2 flights (one delayed, of course), we finally arrived HOME! We were met with balloons flying from the front porch, a sign on our front door, a beautiful hydrangea plant, some gifts for the big brother, and a refrigerator full of food! We sure do have the most wonderful friends! We are so thankful. After a few hours of sleep on Friday night, we spent yesterday unpacking and spending time together at home...felt so nice! We're loving every minute of learning how to adapt as a family of 4. It's had its challenges, but we're getting there.

Now that we're home and settled, this will probably by our last post for awhile. Using this blog to share our journey has been wonderful. We loved having everyone join us each step of the way. We cannot put into words how blessed we are. "The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy" Psalm 126:3. It's been a long road, but this road was paved with prayers. We could not have imagined a more precious gift than Camden. We were in love with him before we even met him and now we get to spend a lifetime loving him. The 4 of us are so grateful for all of your love, prayers, encouragement, and joy for us. "Thank you" just doesn't seem like enough...but thank you.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above" James 1:17a. (This was the verse we put at the very end of our adoption scrapbook, the one we sent to the agency for them to use to show to birthmothers. And, the reason for Camden's middle name...).

Homeward Bound!!!!

Got the call that we can go home! Flights are booked for this afternoon! We expected to be here another week because we were told that CT paperwork takes that long. CT got the paperwork from Kansas yesterday and approved us the same day. We also went before the judge yesterday. It was really no big deal. He just talked to us a bit and the attorney a bit. Our finalization date is set for March 29th but we don't need to come back for that. The judge was super cool, even had us go up onto his bench and take a few pictures. Camden had his pediatrician visit the day before yesterday and he was back to birth weight. So, we're free to go home! We spent last evening having dinner here with my parents, giving both boys their baths, and packing. It's insane how much stuff we have! Looking forward to starting life at home with the 4 of us!

Leaving Lauren

We said goodbye yesterday to a wonderful girl who will always be in our hearts. Lauren has given us the most precious gift and we will be forever grateful. She is a true example of selflessness. She had a choice when she got pregnant and she chose to to give Camden life. Brings me to tears when I think of her and all she's done for him and us.

Lauren called our room yesterday morning and said her dad was on his way to pick her up and asked if we'd come down to her room for some pictures. We took some photos together and then it was time for her to say goodbye. I had wondered how this moment would go. Would it be awkward? Would it be highly emotional? It was neither. Lauren said she didn't need to be alone with Camden (she had him for an hour of so the night before by herself) and that she was ready to get going. She held him, kissed his forehead, told him the she loved him very much, and then handed him back to me. She was so strong. She didn't get emotional at all. We gave Lauren a gift certificate to the restaurant where we all went to dinner back in September when we came to Kansas to meet her (she was craving sushi while she was pregnant so we thought we'd treat her to it now that she can have it again), a Spirit of Giving Willow Tree Angel because she definitely has a giving spirit, and a heartfelt card to let her know just how much she means to us. In the card we told her how grateful we are to her and promised her that we would always provide for Camden and always show him unconditional love. We wanted to make sure she had that to keep so she could always go back and look at our promise to her when she thought about him. After that, we all hugged goodbye. She seemed so at ease about everything. I couldn't help tear up for her as we wheeled Camden back down the hall to our room. We are still praying for her and I'm sure we always will. While I was up with Camden in the middle of the night last night I couldn't help but think of her and wonder how her first day/night back at home was. I still have this bittersweetness lingering in my heart over her.

We will send pictures and updates of Camden as he grows to the agency. The agency will keep a file of everything we send and Lauren is able to access it any time she wants to. Lauren told us that she'd like to send Camden a picture of herself with her name, date of birth, and social security number on the back so we can locate her down the road if he wants. She also said she's going to write him a letter and send it to us so that he can have it when he's older. She said she has some things she'd like to say to him.

We were all discharged from the hospital yesterday. It was so freeing. The 4 of us driving away together was so nice. I was giggling over the fact that we now have 2 car seats in the back seat, and they are both occupied! We brought an empty car seat with us to Kansas and it's no longer empty :) We checked into our hotel after leaving the hospital. When we stepped into our room we found a large, beautiful bouquet of flowers from Todd's boss and Steel Tech and also a welcome basket full of baby items from the hotel. Made it feel a little bit like home. We spent yesterday afternoon at the adoption agency signing form after form after form. Our first night at "home" was, well, LONG. Camden slept the entire day yesterday so he spent the entire night not sleeping :) I'm running on about 3 hours of sleep today, but I'm not complaining. I loved getting to know him in the quiet of the night. We had lots of snuggle time :) Camden is a wonderful baby. He's eating like a champ and is content when he's not hungry. Hayden's loving having a baby brother. He still hates to hear Camden cry and comes running whenever he tunes up. We have an appointment with the pediatrician tomorrow morning and will most likely meet with the judge for our interviews on Thursday. We're told we'll probably be here at least a week, maybe two, while all the paperwork for Kansas and Connecticut is completed in order for us to leave the state with Camden. We're missing home and our normal routine but also loving every moment here with our new baby boy.

We are beyond blessed. The prayers, love, and support we have received have touched our hearts. Our life is full of wonderful family and friends. We're thankful for each of you! Your excitement over this process has helped get us here. It gave us strength to keep going when times were tough. It gave us joy when you celebrated with us. Brace yourself, cuteness below...

Just a Few Photos From Today...

Brotherly Love

Hayden got to meet his baby brother today! And, my parents got to meet their newest grandson! Hayden was a little shy at first but quickly warmed up to him. He constantly wanted to hold him, hated when he cried, and was so excited to feed him a bottle. Still sinking in that we have 2 sons!

Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'M YOURS!!!

The social worker came to our room this morning to let us know she was heading down to Lauren's room to do all the paperwork. Lauren has never given us any reason to think she had or would change her mind. Actually, just the opposite. She has been absolutely wonderful and would correct people that were in the room when they called her the mother. She would say "she's the mother" and point to me. She let us make all medical decisions and didn't want to give any input. She has loved on him but in a way that she seemed like someone visiting us to see him for the first time. She never held him very long and always handed him back to me so I could bond with him. Her friend came to visit and she mentioned to her friend, "you should see Dana and Camden together. It's like they were meant for each other." This whole process has gone so smoothly. We have been so blessed.

Well, we waited and waited for the social worker to come back and let us know it was done. Finally, she knocked at the door and came in. My heart was racing and honestly, I felt sick! She said, "It's all done. She signed." My walls came crashing down. I couldn't contain myself and burst into tears. That poor social worker! I'm sure she's seen that reaction many times though. I was overcome with complete joy knowing that he's ours!!! Each and every up and down were all worth it in that moment. Todd came over and hugged me and congratulations went around the room. We asked how Lauren was doing and the social worker said she was very peaceful about her decision but was a little emotional as expected. We checked in on her to see if she wanted us to get her lunch. She was doing great, up and about, disconnected from all her tubes, and had already had a shower. She asked to have some alone time with Camden in her room and we were happy to oblige. We dressed him in a cute little outfit that she bought for him and delivered him to her room. We want her to do whatever she feels comfortable with so that she can heal and not have regrets. Camden could probably be discharged from the hospital today but Lauren mentioned that she'd love it if they could both be discharged at the same time. Said it would feel weird if she were still here in the hospital after he was gone. She wants to say her goodbyes and have them both leave at the same time. So, we'll stick around until tomorrow or Monday to honor her wishes.