Physicals and Reference Letters

This week Todd and I both completed physicals in which they did a full body assessment, drew blood, conducted an EKG, administered a Tetanus shot, and administered a TB test. So far, looks as if we're healthy enough to adopt. Hayden has his 2 year check-up in a couple of weeks, and we'll have the pediatrician fill out his immunization form as well as his physical form. We are required to turn in Hayden's medical information to the agency as well.

On top of having physicals this week we also obtained the required reference letters. We had five family and friends fill out letters of reference on our behalf. We really appreciate the time and effort these individuals put into the letters. Each one had to include how long the individual has known us, their relationship to us, how much contact they have had with us and in what settings, how they would describe each us, the qualities they most admire in each of us, their observation of us interacting with other children, if they feel we are in a stable and secure relationship, description of us in terms of compatibility, commitment, communication styles, and values, if they feel each of us are committed to adoption and how they have assessed this commitment, how they have witnessed us respond to stressful situations, if there would be any problems for members of the extended family in terms of accepting an adopted child (ex: race, personality, physical characteristics different from their own, unknown medical information about birth parents or child), and finally, if they would recommend each of us as an adoptive parent. As you can tell, it was a very thorough letter, and again, we are very grateful that we have family and friends that were more than willing to take the time to complete the forms in order for us to continue the adoption process.

The lady we're working with at the agency is on vacation for 2 weeks, and we leave tomorrow for a family mission trip to Canada sponsored by our church. So, no action on the adoption front for the next few weeks.

Home Visit Complete

Todd completed his individual session with Lori on Monday in her office, and this morning she came here for the home visit. All outlets covered - check. Smoke detectors tested and working - check. Drawers with latches - check. Doors with latches - check. Safety knob covers on entrance and exit doors - check. Double lock to get to the deck - check. Gates for use at stairs - check. Extra bedroom for another child - check. House ready for another child - check! Since we are already child-proofed around here because of Hayden the visit was a piece of cake. Lori walked through the house and took notes as she went. We finished the home visit without anything needing to be fixed, purchased, etc. Another step complete.

Funny little story...Hayden decided to show Lori the way through the house for the home visit and when she got to his room he said "Lori, piggy bank" and pointed to the piggy bank on his shelf. She told him that she didn't have any coins in her pockets, and I quickly told him that we'd get some coins out of Mommy's purse and put them in the bank when Lori was done seeing the house. Hayden proceeded to cry and tell Lori again that she needed some money for his bank. Lori, being the kind and cooperative person that she is, went downstairs and got money out of her purse for Hayden to put in his bank. "Thank you much" he says. Guess he's charging an admission fee to see his room these days!

Dana's Individual Session

On Monday, I met with Lori for my individual session. It was similar to the couples' session. I was asked lots and lots of questions about my childhood, how I was raised, about each person in my home growing up, etc. The session was fairly easy. After about an hour and a half with Lori by myself, Todd brought Hayden up to meet her, and we completed the last few questions of the couples' session that was started last week. Hayden was a trooper and played with the toys in her office while we answered her questions. It was nice to have him there with us and feel that he's a part of this process. After all, it is definitely a family event! We've started talking to Hayden more about what all this means for him. We're reading books about being a big brother and talking about having a baby in our home. So far, he seems very excited and positive about it. I know things may change once it happens but for now he's enjoying telling people that he's going to be a "big brotha". There is one book in particular that he loves. It's called "I'm a Big Brother!" We're literally reading it twice a day at this point (he asks to read it constantly)...before nap and before bed. I even found him sitting in his rocking chair in his room looking at the book the other day. His other favorite books have been ignored ever since we showed him this book. He's even started to memorize it. Todd was reading it to him the other night and would stop at certain parts and Hayden would fill in the words.

I'm also reading a great book about adoption. It's called "Adopted for Life" by Russell Moore. Friends from church gave us this book when we started the adoption process. Come to find out, Russell Moore is a pastor at Highview Baptist church in Louisville and also the senior vice president and dean of the School of Theology at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville. His book is very touching. I was also given an article to read, and ironically, the article was about the book. I hadn't thought about how biblical the act of adoption really is until reading this book and this article. The article points out that adoption "is the act that most directly mirrors God's actions towards us." As Christians, we have been adopted into God's family. They put a new perspective on the process of adoption for me.

Todd will has his individual session next week, our home visit is next week (we now have everything in place for that), and we both have physicals set up for the following week. Moving right along!

Couples' Session

Todd and I had to write autobiographies about ourselves and turn them into the agency. Then, we had our couples' session this afternoon at the adoption agency. It was interesting sitting on a couch being interviewed about your relationship, from how you met to how you ended up sitting in an office hoping to be adoptive parents. The session took 2 hours and she still didn't get through all of her questions. There will be a second couples' session next week followed by each of us meeting with her individually. Todd and I also have to see a physician for physicals and TB skin tests (PPD), have background checks and child abuse checks, obtain Hayden's records, and get letters of recommendations. We will also have to have FBI fingerprints made for each of us. Interesting, huh? At least we're being fingerprinted for a good reason :) The actual home visit is scheduled for July 23rd. We are heading to Babies R Us soon to purchase some door knob covers and a few more outlet covers. We haven't had a need for the door knob covers with Hayden but were told that we need them in place. We don't have outlet covers in the guest bedroom and we're also told that we need them on any outlet a small child can reach. The home study process will be complete by the end of August. What we thought would take 3-4 months is really only going to take a little over 2 months. We are quickly having to come to our decision about which country we'd like to adopt from and which gender we would prefer. It's all so exciting and stressful at the same time.